Never Hire the Kid Driving a Tesla To Pull Weeds

And other tips from a cranky Boomer

Ah, spring. How I love to dig in the dirt. Planting flowers and, yes, even weeding. The smell of the soil is intoxicating.

But I tweaked my back this year, and a morning of vigorously ripping out stubborn English ivy from the front garden bed derailed my physical therapy. Another 12 feet of the bed still needed to de-ivyed.

The landscaping companies I contacted are overwhelmed with seasonal work and dealing with labor shortages. The one company that showed up said they don’t do ivy — it messes with their equipment and is too hard to dispose of. But for $280, they pulled out nine shrubs and ground the stumps. Not bad.

While scrolling Facebook, I saw a post from a “landscaping company” about being available and shot them a message. A response came immediately: he’d come the next morning to bid the job.

And sure enough, he showed up. In a $60,000 Tesla. Young, energetic, and spouting about experience.

I’m a loyal supporter of the much-maligned Millennials and Gen Z generations. Possibly because I have kids that fall into those categories and have great affection for the energy, cynicism, and intelligence they and their friends exhibit. I’ve gotten into arguments with friends for defending the younger generations, but I honestly think they’re great — on the whole. I truly believe our future is in good hands.

They don’t know how to read an analog clock? Who cares. You know why they don’t know how to? Because they don’t NEED to. I don’t know how to milk a cow, but my grandparents did it daily. I don’t know how, because I don’t NEED to.

At my age, I can no longer differentiate ages for younger people. Up to a certain point, they all look like kids. The ages 14 to 30 pretty much look the same to me. The young man who came to bid fell into that category. Could have been a high school…

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