The Wedding of Cindy and Tim

..Of Course I’m Not Going to Leave You Hanging

After talking about our lovely couple Tim and Cindy I alluded to a wedding. I bet you thought that I was going to leave you hanging about the wedding. Let’s just say I’m not — because it is a doozy. I even cleared this article with Cindy and Tim (not their real names) and they have approved the article. WARNING: Adult answer follows as told to me by Cindy (she told me I had to write this exactly.)

The wedding for Cindy and Tim was out in the corn fields of Nebraska. Cindy’s family owns a fairly substantial chunk of farm land and that is where the wedding was being held. I let my wife decide what I should wear — as long as it was black. I don’t wear another color, like Johnny Cash. My wife wore a nice little dress that I told her was a bit much since we were going to be out in the middle of a corn field.

It was a large wedding. I was surprised. There were easily 300 people here: friends, family, young, old, grandmothers, grandfathers, you name it. There were also a bunch of people I’d never seen that I thought I’d know. They didn’t look like family but they were a set of friends for Cindy and Tim that I’d never expect. They were dressed in suits made of PVC and they were getting some interesting looks. I mean, wow, it isn’t what I was expecting at all. But the rest of the guest seemed non-pulsed so I rolled with it.

The wedding was held inside a barn and was very straight-forward and traditional. Tim’s family was a very stuffy family from New York who wasn’t quite sure what to make of all the Mid-Western hospitality. Cindy’s family, of course, was loud and rowdy which made for a fun dichotomy. Of course, Cindy’s dress was provocative to say the least.

She could have at least bought it from me. I mean, I’d find one like the one above which is what she was wearing.. at least close to that. The priest gave some interesting statements about being discreet and whatnot, Cindy obviously didn’t care. It was a beautiful and generally classy affair. Then the party started.

It was the typical wedding party. Drinking, toasts, first dances. Very tame. Even when it is held in a barn. Then the family started to excuse themselves and it was down to the guests of Cindy and Tim. And it got weird — not judging, but hey, it was out of the ordinary.

Cindy grabbed the mic once the families were gone and started barking commands to lock down the barn. The guests in the PVC tuxedos were covering the exits and others showed up carrying large boxes and pulling out robes and masks. I looked at my wife and asked, “Is this some weird Kubrick shit going on now?”

“I sure hope it isn’t Eyes Wide Shut.” she replied.

We both sat at our table a little shocked, as did a lot of other folks.

“Alright! Now that the families are gone and it’s just our friends. The real party can begin! And I want to make toast to the person who really made this all come together,” Cindy was shouting, “Everyone, grab a glass. Fill it up!”

She was pointing and ordering more. Everyone was having a glass shoved in their hand along with a mask and cloak. A few minutes later we all had a glass of champagne and were wearing a cloak and mask. I however, declined the mask, since Kubrick’s greatest trick was making a porn and getting it called high art.

“Ok, ok, now, I want to thank the folks who were really responsible for making Tim and I fall in love. If it wasn’t for them, I would have left Tim and gone to someone else. It was them who made him into a new man.” Cindy said.

She turned and raised her glass. We all raised our glass.

“Mr. Youngblood! It was your book choice that turned him into a man! Now he does things that I could never imagine and I love it!” she screamed.

My face went a little red. I just wanted to sell a book and make them happy. I didn’t want to be the toast of the wedding. She started motioning me up to the stage. My wife pushed me forward. I walked up and she handed me the mic. The crowd quieted down.

“Now, I know you’re expecting a speech about how I saw potential in them for true love and everything else. But what I saw that day when they came into my store was a woman in search of a man inside her boy. I merely led him to the river. It was up to him to drink. And apparently, drink he did. Congratulations Cindy and Tim!” I said and raised my glass and then drank and handed the mic back and began heading back to my table.

“Wait, you can’t go back yet. You haven’t even seen what we have planned now,” Cindy said.

I stopped and gave my patented quizzical eye look.

Cindy motioned and a trapeze-like contraption was rolled into the center of the barn. She threw her dress of and stood as naked as the day she was born in front of us and Tim stripped down to nothing.

I laughed. Did they just get turned into exhibitionists?

I moved quickly back to my seat as Cindy strapped into the contraption and was raised into the air, her breast swaying in motion with her hair and Tim growing hard. I wanted to turn away but as it is with train wrecks, you can’t look away. The rest of the audience was split between shock and awe and cheering.

I just took it all in and laughed. My wife just giggled.

Tim got behind her started banging her like screen door in a tornado. Her hair moving wildly, her breasts doing the same. The rhythmic smack of Tim ramming into her. Everyone pulling out their phones and recording the moment. It went on until they both moaned in pleasure. Cindy dripped sweat and what appeared to be Tim’s love. Tim unhooked her and helped her down where he lovingly handed her a towel to cover herself then took the microphone.

“That show was free! But the next one will cost you! Find us on OnlyFans! We’ve found our calling. Forget real work, we’re sexfluencers!” he screamed, “And by the way, we buy all our adult toys and goods from Mr. Youngblood!”

About Me

Saint Jovite Youngblood finds himself in interesting situations everyday. Not all of them are as interesting or as profitable as others. He aims to maintain his title as World’s Greatest Dildo Salesman through listening to his customers even if it means not selling them the latest or greatest or even on of them at all. He hopes you can find his hidden shop and visit with him. It’s an adventure!

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