We can all go back to hating them now

Pogback. That’s what people are calling him nowadays.

Ole Gunnar Solksjaer — yeah, don’t worry about it, we all get it wrong — has taken over England’s most historically celebrated team. Yes, that one exactly, the one that used to play 12 at the back, under You Know Who.

It’s a relief for most people* (most people…don’t like United). Not because we didn’t like Mourinho and Pogba’s scandals, oh no, we obviously enjoyed the gossip. And not because we felt bad beating them, it was definitely exciting to finally, for once in the history of the world, look down on them. Also not because it wasn’t amusing to make fun of a friend who fans Man U the day after a match where they had lost to a team fighting relegation, and make them relive the story in full detail. No, it was because, sadly and also incredibly, we had created a sort of pity for the team, especially the players.

You know, who doesn’t love Paul Pogba, or Marcus Rashford, the intelligent and lovable Juan Mata, or even the struggling Luke Shaw? After some time of the Mourinho regime, we realized that, well, put simply, his days are over. He had a team full of superstars, even managing to almost completely ruin Alexis Sanchez. His instructions were to keep the ball in front of you, even if the other team has it, and, maybe, if you’re not on the goal line, maybe try and create some chances. Instead of being to attack and make quick passes, find open lanes, see the space to lob the ball into, and try and get the ball back when not in possession.

Of course, his tactics weren’t all not working. Apart from all the scandals, they did end 2nd place in the Premier League the second season he was in charge. But although they did only concede one more goal than their rivals, Manchester City led by the one and only Pep (who ended in 1st place), there was one big difference, in fact, it was the difference. They scored 38 goals less. So yeah, you get the point.

Manchester, a big city with two big teams with a whole lot of history. But what separates them now? Two undoubtedly proved coaches, with some history between each other. Pep having previously managed Barcelona at the same time as Mourinho managed Real Madrid. It was their second rivalry as coaches, but why did Mourinho fall off this time? It’s really not too complex of a process. Natural selection: one adapted, one didn’t. Pep was playing probably the most modern, advanced, and intelligent football ever played, while Mourinho was — and I really don’t hate to say it — doing the complete opposite.

But anyways, let’s get back to the future. The Norwegian coach’s boys are back on track. Our beloved Paul has scored more goals under Solksjaer than under Mourinho this season. There’s not much rocket science to the reasoning behind this newfound success. He was just let out of prison, and he’s creating lots and lots of crime again.

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